Mormon Family
Mormon Family questions and answers
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Q: What type of service/burial do the Mormon Community have if a member of their family pass away?
A work colleague of mine is Mormon. One of her family members recently passed away. I would like to sympathise with my work colleague and her family but I'm not sure what type of funeral Mormons would usually hold.
thank you
A: It really depends on the culture, but American funerals, at least, are much like any other funeral. The service will probably be held at the local chapel, and several people will speak about the deceased. The casket will then be taken to the cemetery, and someone from the Mormon faith will likely bless the grave (though this may happen beforehand. It depends on the family). A prayer will be given, and that'll be it.
Q: Gay son in a Mormon family?
Hey!
Well, I have three children, two sons who are 15 and 17, and a daughter who is 14. My 15 year old son recently came out as gay to me. We were driving home from the mall and he just told me he had something he wanted me to know, and then he said that he was gay. It took me by surprise for a second, but I told him that I loved him and that I want him to be happy. However, we are Latter-day Saints, and we live in a heavily Mormon suburb of Salt Lake City, Utah. I’ve always been an open minded person, but my husband is much more conservative in his beliefs and is a devout member of the church. I’m not sure if we should tell him or not. My son and I told my daughter a week ago and she thought it was quite cool to have a gay brother, and we told my other son a few days ago and he didn’t know what to think about it at first, but later came and gave him a hug and told him that he would always be his brother and that he loved him. So that went quite well. Now my son wants to come out at school tomorrow morning (Monday). I’m not sure if that’s a good idea, but my oldest boy said that he would protect him if need be, as they attend the same school. But if he comes out at school, then I’m sure some of the students will tell their parents, and then they may tell my husband, or the church. Homosexuality is very discriminated against here, and I’m not sure what to tell my son. He wants to tell his father and the school. Should I tell him to go ahead, or tell him to wait? I’m very confused and I just want my son to be safe and happy. My son, and our whole family, can be discriminated against in our tight knit LDS community. What should I tell my son? What should I do? Thank you for your help.
A: That is a difficult position to be in. I used to be a member of the LDS church, but eventually went inactive and then I proceeded to have my name taken off church records for personal reasons. Kudos to you for having an open mind regarding your son. Based on my exposure to Mormonism, the official church position on homosexuality is that it is an acceptable practice so long as you don't gratify your sexual needs. That being said, you can be homosexual as long as you're not actively homosexual. As a result, a gay person can "technically" take the sacrament so long as they're not actively involved in the lifestyle. I know, it certainly doesn't make a lot of sense, but that is the church position at least. LDS culture especially in the Utah area can be rather restrictive so I can understand if you're worried about being ostracized by your friends and neighbors.
Considering that other members of your family already know it's probably for the best that you tell your husband before he hears about it secondhand. That will probably make matters even worse. And if it seems like a viable option perhaps you can consult your bishop if you're an active member. You guys could always relocate to a more accepting community, but that might be a bit drastic. Hope this info helps and good luck.
Q: Serving an LDS mission with an anti-mormon family?
I'm LDS, Female, 21. I feel that I should serve a mission, but my family is anti-mormon. Not to the point of hate per-say, but they don't like it. Has anybody else had the same experience but served a mission anyways? And could you tell me about it?
ok, for those people who came on here to tell me my religion is wrong, seriously?! I converted and had to what 3 years to be baptized because I wasn't 18 yet. I have a testimony and you won't change it. I was hoping someone who has been in my situation to answer not to tell me something false. Thank you
A: I too am LDS, but I have not yet served a mission. This is a tough situation and your family may not be happy with your decision if you decide to serve. I reminds me of a story about a boy who was probably in his teens. He was going to get baptized, but if he did he would lose his job, his home, and the support of his parents. While discussing this before he was baptized he was asked if he really wanted to do this since he would lose so much. He responded to this question with yet another question, "It's true. Isn't it?" The man who had asked if he wanted to go through with the baptism replied that it was. "Then what else matters?" the boy said. I think this applies to you too. Pray about it and you will know if you should serve a mission or not. I know this will all work out the way it is supposed to. Good luck with whatever happens.
Q: Since I come from a Mormon family and have never been baptized...?
does that mean I can do anything I want pretty much then get my baptism for the dead while I'm in the spirit prison and go to the Celestial Kingdom, or am I damned for all eternity in the Terrestrial Kingdom. (Mormon's only please since most of you have no idea).
A: Dear Touched,
No member of my faith would want to judge you, but if you have relatives who are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, they will care enough about you to be baptized for you after you are gone.
Jesus loves you, too – so much that He’s prepared a place where you can live if you’d be uncomfortable in His presence. Thus, your family will perform the necessary ceremonies, and Jesus Christ has paid for your sins.
You’re in, right?
Well, not so fast. The truth is that we are still the same person we choose to be, whether dead or alive. You can read Doctrine and Covenants section 76 for yourself, but here’s the quick and sloppy summary:
Celestial glory: Those who are valiant in the testimony of Jesus. Those who prayerfully seek to discover the will of the Lord, and strive to do it daily.
Terrestrial glory: Those who do what THEY think is right, not what GOD thinks is right.
Telestial glory: Those who know better, but willfully do wrong.
Outer darkness: The very few who actually know Jesus is the Christ and yet deny that He is the Christ. (This means KNOW, not merely have faith in Him like almost all church members – no matter what words they use bearing their testimony.) Perhaps those who commit premeditated murder, too.
You choose. Christ has already bought your ticket to the Celestial kingdom, and paid in blood. Just remember that the choice becomes more difficult every day you delay repentance – and will not be any easier after you die.
Q: what is an appropriate host gift for a mormon family? Serious answers only please. Thanks!?
A: Flowers are always appropriate. Stay away from anything with caffeine or alcohol.
Q: is the republican VP candidate's family mormon?
they seem to have teenage pregnancy, and they are spouting some nonsense about the girl getting married to the father of the child...it all sounds so 18th century.
A: People should mind their own business. What does her daughter's age and pregnancy have to do with her VP candidacy???
Q: What are mormons like? My friends family is a mormon but she doesn't act like one?
I don't know much about mormons, but my friend was raised as one - but she doesn't act like it.
She smokes, drinks, swears all the time.
Is it that her family are more lenient than most mormons, or is the mormon religion really not that strict?
What do they believe in?
I know she goes to church, but she says she doesn't like organised religion and rebels against a lot of her family's teachings.
A: We all have agency. No one should be constrained to live the Gospel. It is by choice.
Q: If a mormon family already has four kids they can't afford, why would they continue to pop them out?
My mormon brother and his wife have 4 kids, and my parents and brothers wife's parents already have to give them groceries and stuff. My brother wants a total of eight kids. Is he mental?
bluemule266, what you're saying is this.....
Even though you don't have enough food for 4 kids, go ahead and have more kids.
Pursue your dream of having eight kids, so your kids don't have a chance in hell of pursuing their dreams? How are they going to go to college? Coming from broke, when your parents know nothing about money management definitely doesn't help you later in life when you want to pursue your own dreams. I think they're selfish to go ahead and have more kids and deprive their kids even more than they already are.
A: It's kind of like tithing...even though sometimes it just isnt logical, but since old gordy says so, they just keep popping the checks. "Oh but the blessings will come! God promises! Our PROPHET says that God promises." That's their theory.
Same with kids...even if it's financial SUICIDE, "oh but we'll get blessings" or "oh the lord will take care of us" or something like that. In my opinion, they're just acting like morons, and God will bless them when they start USING THE BRAINS HE GAVE THEM!
Bluemule: OMG did i read your answer right? So you're saying because the dad felt like it, and didnt think about consequences, his children (who couldnt do anything about it, they didnt have a choice to be born, did they?) are going to have to starve? You honestly think he's not going to regret having his 5th, 6th and so on child because he couldnt feed his first 4? Oh, but it's fine because it was the dad's DREAM! I'm not saying he shouldnt have more kids, but just wait till he can freaking afford it!
Q: I've been invited to a "Baby Blessing" from a Mormon family. What should I bring as a gift for the family?
I have become good friends with the family but do not know what to expect or what may be commonly expected from me by the family.
A: I'm Mormon. I've seen lots of baby blessings. It's really sweet. The Dad and some male friends go to the front of the chapel and someone with a mic holds it, while the others stand in a circle with the baby being held by the Dad. Except for the Dad and the guy with the mic, one hand is placed on the baby and one on the shoulder of the person standing next to them. The Dad acts as voice as a blessing is given to the baby, which always includes these words: I/We "give you a name and a blessing. The name which you will be known in the records of the church is..." The rest of the blessing varies from person to person, but is generally regarded as individual and coming from God, not the Dad or the men in the circle. After the blessing those in the circle go back to their seats and the Dad usually sort of holds the baby up for the congregation to see, then goes back to his seat.
The baby blessing will take place after the opening prayer, but before the sacrament is passed. They usually take place before any Ward business, but I've seen them after Ward business too.
As far as a gift, I don't know about that. I converted as an adult, and don't have any kids or other family members who are members. But I don't think gifts are given, at least not any I've seen. Your being there is a great way to show support to the family. However, if you wanted to get a gift for the occasion, perhaps a nice picture frame to put a picture of the baby on the day the blessing was given?
I would suggest staying through the Sacrament Meeting, unless you have another event to attend to which is more important. If you had rather not stay for the three hour block of meetings, I think that would be understandable, but you would be welcome to stay. If you do stay through the Sacrament meeting, you will be passed the sacrament, you can either take it or not, just pass it along to the next person.
Enjoy the baby blessing! :)
Q: Does anyone know if there is a legitimate legal team preparing to defend the Mormon families from Texas?
This is an civil rights atrocity and needs the likes of Alan Dershowitz to defend them.
Oh... And please don't respond if your main source of information about this case is the likes of CNN, FOX NEWS, or some other yellow trash. Your assumptions based on the Jeffs case, that all the people in this community were child abusers is like saying that all Catholics must be child abusers based on the last ten years of cases about Priest abuse.
A: The group in Texas are members of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FLDS) and do not consider themselves Mormon. Mormon typically refers to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS). There is a huge amount of differences between these two faiths (polygamy top among them).
As for attorneys. They were discussing on the news the other day that the FLDS have a team of attorney's in place already, and didn't say that they were bringing in more. But as closed-mouthed as this sect is known for being, we won't know if they're bringing in any high powered attorney's until they show up.
Civil rights vs. possible child molestation. You're right, just because some are participating doesn't mean all are. And as for the pregnant teens that they pulled out, no one has proven who the fathers are. These girls could very well be married to young men as well as old, as far as the evidence points at this time. We're just going to have to wait and see how this all plays out in the courts.
I was fairly supportive of the authorities actions until they seperated the children from the mother's yesterday. Too coincidental that it was a day after the mother's complained about conditions. And these children are going through enough right now. The mother's have not been implicated in the sexual abuse, thus far, and so they don't have a legal right to seperate them without bringing charges against them.
Q: Mormon family trouble....?
We are three brothers, my older two bros are married with kids. I'm youngest, no wife/kids. All our parents are dead (we had different dads). Tons of drama through the years, like any family, but 3 years ago my nephew broke his back in a DUI related accident. He learned his alcoholism from his father (my oldest bro). My other brother blames the oldest for our family going to hell in a hand-basket. We were all SOOOO close as younger kids, but now that everyone's dead but us, we're completely apart. The oldest has been sober now for a year and a half, but no matter how many outings, b-day parties, dinners I plan, the non-recovering brother refuses to come. He will hang out with me if i plan it, if i do the travel, if i do the work. For 2 straight years i've tried to get everyone back on speaking terms, but have had NO success. i need ideas; i dont want to give up because i know what we once were and could be again. If you have had similar experience and have come out with a success story, tell me how you did it. Or, if you simply have any inspiration as you read this, PLEASE send me advice. Let God use you as His instrument for helping me.
A: I have an inactive brother that though I believe he still loves me, never calls or gets together with me anymore. His wife, who died of cancer 10 years ago always was the one who helped get our families together. I feel so alone sometimes too, because my parents are also dead and my brother and I are the only ones left.
As I read your question something occurred to me that might help you. Have you thought about emailing them? It is so easy to put together a quick email and easy for them to reply too. I sometimes have a hard time getting hold of my brother on the phone, but I think I'm going to try emailing too. It is worth a try anyway don't you think?
As far as getting your two brothers back on speaking terms, you can't force them. If one is not willing to forgive and forget their is little you can do except just love them both.
Another idea might be to get together with each brother separately. Perhaps go out to breakfast, or go to a sporting event that you both enjoy. Once you get them meeting you on a regular basis, you may have more influence on the two of them getting together.
I hope that this works out for you. I know it is hard. I find allot of comfort in the relationships and friendships I have with my husbands brothers and sisters. Once you get married you will not feel so lonely. Part of the problem is that they have wives, children etc. to fall back on, and as of yet you do not.
One last thought, have you tried putting their names on the temple prayer rolls? Don't forget to pray also for help with your brothers. I know that Heavenly Father is concerned with you and with your brothers. Turn to him.
Q: Who cleans the bedsheets in a Mormon family?
A: lol, The man should, as he would be the one who makes the most mess!
Q: Non-mormon family living in Utah!?
So my husband and I moved here with our children about 2.5 years ago from Orange County, Ca. Utah is a great place. I love being able to enjoy all 4 seasons, which is not something that happens in Orange County. And for the most part it is a great place to raise our children. The only concern I have is the way we seem to be judged for not being LDS. My oldest son has come home from school asking questions about being LDS, which concerns me. And today my son came inside from playing with the neighbor kid across the street and informed me that his mom didn't like them coming over to our house. This is the second time a child has said that to my son. Now they havent actually said it is cuz we arent mormon, but I see those same kids playing at other neighbors houses (who r LDS). Why is everyone here SOOOOOO judgemental? We enjoy sitting outside with the kids and having a few beers--doesnt that make us bad people? HELL NO!!!
It's not that my son isn't allowed over there, they don't want their kids over here.
And we moved here cuz my husbands job transfered him. We kind of have no choice.
And it's not that I am having problems with them directly---everyone in our neighborhood is very nice, just a like stand offish.
As far as my son asking questions--they are more along the lines of "why does it matter if I am LDS or not mom?" that is the question he asks me!!
Are you telling me that it is just absolutely unheard of the have a BBQ and a beer on a hot summer day?
To history.illuminates.....
I did hear about the child last week..very sad. I have also learned the curfew laws for minors here--unbelievable!! Way to relaxed. A lot of parents here turn a blind eye to some of the things their kids are into, stating---"my kid would never do this or that because our children are raised in a LDS household." Ridiculous!!!!
A: As an LDS person who's live half my life outside of Utah I hear you loud and clear.
How you're treated is wrong. The church doesn't teach that, it's just a social condition with your choice to live in Utah.\
My heart goes out to you. I grew up in Provo and thought that everyone good was LDS and anyone not good wasn't LDS. I don't think that it was the church, but just being comfortable with my surroundings that made me assume that.
For the famines that haven't had their kids come over to your house, try to fix the problem socially because thats where it lies. The others homes that their kids play at are homes in which 3 hours every Sunday they go to church with the neighbors, associate with them in activities, and have a long social history. Even in California we know our LDS neighbors much better than the other ones because of the social aspect of belonging to a religion - not to be confused with anything taught by the religion.
We are taught to love others, trust others, and accept others.
For me drinking beer is a sin, for you it isn't. I get that and wouldn't judge you for that, but when I was younger I don't know that I would have thought that way because beer was evil for what it was, not a sin for me because of who I have chosen to be.
Perhaps there is some give and take that would be beneficial. Invite the neighbors to dinner. Let them learn about you and your habits, and you learn about them and their religion.
For youth especially there are many activities and things that the church does for boys (scouting and other activities) I'm willing to bet that if they participate in them everyone except a few will accept them fully, and the few are idiots that exist everywhere in every religion.
EDIT: History - I'm not sure were you come up with this stuff.
Salt Lake City is FAR less "mormon" than Utah County. It's not even close! I went to high school in Provo, we had 3 students in my graduating class that were not LDS. We had 2 families live within my ward boundaries who were not LDS. Downtown SLC is about 37% LDS rather than 98% in Provo. SLC has bars all over downtown, and in Provo it's hard to find a caffinated soda.
In a state with more kids than any other state, tragically there could be more deaths of kids per capita since there are more kids per capita. As people are trying to condemn judging others you are activly judging others.
I don't see a career as a statistician in the cards for you.
EDIT: I love the irony of Samm saying "Mormons are judgmental retards". It's kind of funny if you think about it.
Q: My husband's family is Mormon and they want us to have 6 kids?
My husband's step-family is Mormon, but my husband and his parents were never Mormon.
Everytime I see them they talk about how my husband is 26 with no kids yet.
They think its crazy that we have been together for 5 years and we don't have children.
When we say we plan to have 2 children, they get all crazy and say they want us to have 6!
They talk about how they are such a blessing, but we don't have that kind of money.
My husband's step-family get mney from their parents and Church to support them. We rely on ourselves.
What do I do about this family? Even if we could afford 6 kids, I wouldn't want that many!
A: The decision is between the 2 of you. If you want to have 2 kids, your husband's family shouldn't affect your decision. Not his parents, not your parents can tell you what to do anymore, you're grown and you have your own family, the decision should be up to you, not only about how many kids to have, but smaller things, you wouldn't let someone else decide how to decorate your home or what to cook to eat for dinner or how to spend your money and you shouldn't let them decide on how many kids you should have.
Q: What should I expect from my Mormon family when I tell them...?
I no longer believe in the church, nor do I believe in a god? How do I tell them, and what will they say or do? I love my family and it has nothing to do with them, it is my own personal beliefs, that is all. How should I tell them, and what should I expect? So you know, I have grown up in the church for over 20 years, I have even been through the temple, so I'm sure that will have some impact in my family's eyes. What do I do and say, and what will happen?
Jesus Lover, I hope you are lying...that is absolutely horrible
Or Hurlburt, I am looking for someone that has experienced this and has pointers to help it go easier
A: I know this may sound dishonest but if you are close and you think they are going to have an emotional melt down you might consider not making a big announcement that you don't believe their religion or god at all. I don't believe either. I never came home though and just made an announcement to my religious family members. I just stopped going to church and participating in religious rituals that had lost meaning. When they asked I just told them I was busy and had found other spiritual outlets. This was true as I have always felt more spiritual in a way out in nature hiking then in a church. When my grandmother wanted to know why I wasn't attending I explained to her it just means more to me to be able to take the time to experience the wonder of nature and I need this time to sort through things. It was true and gave her time to adjust to that particular change. When the opportunity for personal discussion came up with individuals I gradually and gently shared my changed perspective a bit at a time depending on the person and how I thought they might handle it or perceive it. In time they more figured it out as they were able to absorb and process it so it was less of a shock. My own mom later moved away from Christianity although she remained some sort of theist and I don't think it had to do with me. Some family members I knew to be pretty open minded and have skeptical views so in that case I was more just this is how I see it. I think if you have extremely religious family adjusting your method to fit the individual and not announcing it to everyone if that is possible in your situation might be best. It also gives them time to see that you are still you and not going to change into some immoral beast just because you don't believe in deities. I know it sounds absurd but some religious people seem to think being an atheist means you are going to turn into a drug addict or criminal.
Some people though obviously just can't handle it that someone doesn't believe what they do. I won't be forced by such behavior to pretend to believe what I don't. That to me is just wrong. Such people are horrible I think. That is their problem. I hope your family won't be like Jesus Lovers or that girl about who goes on about being mad at someone for not sharing her faith based beliefs.
Good luck.